15 Most Important Things In A Relationship

Focusing on these relationship aspects can strengthen the bond you share with your partner.

Reviewed by Ellen J.W. Gigliotti, LMFT
By Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

The thought of losing that special person you love really puts perspective on the most important things in a relationship. Sometimes we fight with our partners for the silliest of reasons. Maybe they didn’t help you pick a color for the kitchen wall, or maybe they bought the wrong DVD home, or they forgot to compliment you on your new haircut. Some people eventually realize that there’s more to a partnership than just those things. But many couples don’t, and they allow these small arguments to ruin a beautiful relationship. Keep reading to understand the 15 most important things to focus on in a relationship and what you must let go of.

1. Open Communication

Open communication is the foundation of any successful relationship (1). Your significant other cannot read your mind (neither can anyone else). So, voicing out your feelings, expectations, and needs is essential. Even if you are in the middle of a conflict, communication comes in handy to resolve conflicts and strengthen your bond. Without communication, you are creating resentment, piling up misunderstandings, and giving rise to bitterness. Be mindful of the fact that all these are fatal for any relationship.

2. Trust In Each Other

Having trust in a relationship signals longevity and permanence. However, if you are lacking this ingredient, then it is not a healthy, secure, and stable relationship. Trust can be built with time and grows stronger if you both are willing to work on a relationship and get it back on track. You can’t make your love life exciting and fulfilling if the element of trust is missing.

3. Respecting Each Other

No matter how cliché it sounds, disrespecting your partner can fade the love too. Love cannot be a justification for sacrificing your self-worth or disrespecting your partner. For a relationship to bloom and prosper, partners need to respect each other. You need to respect the differences and not impose your likes or dislikes on the other. The best way to strengthen your bond is to celebrate and respect the differences. Disrespecting each other only sprouts resentment and can damage any relationship.

4. Loyalty

Being unfaithful is probably the most detrimental thing for any relationship. Love that is coupled with loyalty is long-lasting and sacred. Loyalty is the building block of a relationship. If you want to make it work, then you have to commit to your partner. It is possible that your significant other is not as witty as your coworker or as extroverted as your ex, but there is a reason why you chose them over everyone else. This should be the basis for your unflinching loyalty. A relationship fails tremendously when you have a third person in the mix, regardless of whether you disclose that person’s identity or keep it under wraps from your partner.

5. Compromise

For a relationship to flourish, making compromises is essential for both individuals. Work on finding common ground between the both of you for your relationship to thrive. A successful relationship has its basis in compromises on both ends as no one can have it their way all the time. If you keep depriving your partner and consider only your needs, it can lead to resentment and even end your relationship.

6. Upholding Independence

As a couple, if you eat, breathe, live and sleep together all the time, it is perfectly okay. However, having your own individual time is equally important. Being in a relationship in no way suggests that you have to completely lose yourself. Of course, you both may spark changes in each other, but you can always retain the charm and personality that makes you different and induce it in your relationship.

7. A Feeling Of Safety

The feeling that you are safe with your significant other makes it worthwhile to stay in a relationship. However, if your safety is questioned, then all other emotions start failing and, eventually, your bond crumbles. In a committed relationship, you have to keep up the sacred vow of protecting and loving your partner in all the circumstances of life. This feeling of safety extends to both physical and emotional safety.

8. Being Happy

The hustle and bustle of everyday life can lead to a slump in your relationship. So, finding ways to fill it with fun, excitement, and happiness is essential. No relationship is sunshine and rainbows at all times, but ensuring that happier times overshadow unhappy ones is vital. If you can face a problem together with a smile on your face, then nothing can fail you as a couple. Laughter brings two hearts together and fades away all the worries.

9. Being A Team

As much as you require individual space, staying strong together is vital too. A relationship requires you to wear different hats at varied times. Sometimes you may have to act as a therapist for your partner and listen to them patiently and offer support. Then there will be times when you will have to show them some tough love (like a teacher) to stop them from making rash decisions. Of course, there will be times when your partner will have to step into those roles for you as well. As different individuals, you have to team up together to work on your relationship.

10. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a very important virtue, and nobody is perfect in this world. You might have a list of qualities you are looking for in your partner, but at the end of the day, to err is human and to forgive is divine. If a sincere heart makes an apology, learn to forgive and move on. Having said that, something like cheating on your partner is unforgivable. But some regrettable mistakes followed by apologies can be considered.

11. Spending Quality Time Together

How do two strangers become inseparable and end up totally in love? Well, it’s all about spending quality time with each other and prioritizing your relationship over everything. The time spent together helps in knowing your partner better. It opens communication channels and helps in building your friendship and fostering trust for each other. It can be as trivial as taking a walk together or watching a movie, but it can do wonders for your relationship.

12. Be Emotionally Available

As much as a relationship is all about love and happiness, it is also about being emotionally available for your partner in trying times. Lend your ear when your partner wants to be heard about their emotional challenges. Being insensitive to their emotions and staying consumed in your own world will leave a void that can tempt your partner to fill it with a third party. Listening to and validating your partner’s feelings will bring you closer and make you stronger as a couple.

13. Express Love

Who doesn’t want to be told that they are the most special and important person in their partner’s life over and over again? Don’t ever take your significant other for granted. Voice out your feelings of love and admiration to let them know how much they mean to you. This will also maximize your opportunities of receiving love.

14. Be Kind

The small acts of kindness you do for your partner might look trivial but will stay in their heart forever. Through these little gestures, you can let your partner know that you care about them and that you always have their back. And rest assured that they will go out of their way to reciprocate these kind deeds in their own way to make you feel special. This lays the foundation for a strong relationship.

15. Commit To Success

Every relationship is a two-way street, and it takes two people to commit to each other to make it work. If you are invested in your relationship, it will survive all hardships. Every relationship comes with its share of challenges, and the ones that survive the onslaught of time have commitment as the basic ingredient.

It may surprise many, but love is not the only requirement for a happy and fulfilling relationship; it is made of many smaller yet vital components. Open communication, loyalty, kindness, compassion, trust, emotional vulnerability, and willingness to forgive are some of the most important things that keep a relationship afloat. However, every relationship is different, and while some partners value the feeling of security the most, others may depend heavily on respect for each other’s boundaries. So, it helps to know about your partner’s expectations from the relationship and convey your own.

Frequently Asked Questions

What keeps most couples together?

Maintaining healthy boundaries, open communication, and balancing busy schedules and priorities to find time for each other are some factors that keep couples together.

What kills a relationship faster?

lack of intimacy, unrealistic expectations, abusive behavior, and suppression of emotions can kill a relationship faster.

Key Takeaways

  • A relationship is a lot more than complimenting your partner’s new haircut or helping them pick a dress.
  • Open communication, trust, and compromise are a few of the most important things you need in a partnership.
  • You need to invest time and effort and work things out together to keep your love alive.

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Sources

Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.

  1. Does Couples’ Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication?
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4852543/
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Ellen J.W. Gigliotti

(LMFT)
Ellen J.W. Gigliotti is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 20 years of experience and the owner of... more

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